Beyond the List {part 1 in “just write”: journey of 1000 words}

Posted on January 5, 2016


The questions I find that are most puzzling and yet seem be easy for many are those that ask about one’s “favorites”. I struggle as I am an ever adventuring and discovering soul and to have but one “favorite” or even a top five can be quite d….

Sorry… distracted

Rooftops… arms held high in humbleness

Proclamation… of my heart and soul…

I do have ONE favorite. In and above all things I do have one favorite that stands the test of time… the LORD. He is my everything and all things. In that fact I am not moved or questioning. When I look deep into myself (heart, mind and soul) I know that He IS. If Love is my other drive and focus then it is still Him. He IS Love. The whole of it. I will not quarrel about it. I am not going to defend or argue. It is in my bones and the particles of my being. I can’t explain it or even how I am absolutely without doubt about Him. I could go all protagonist or pragmatist about it but I find that there is never enough proof, evidence, reasoning, or knowledge to draw people into understanding or agreement relationship. If your mind is set against it than it will take a personal encounter to draw you to it. With every argument there is a counter in nearly all circumstances. Even science and math are being countered and reproofed every day. Why argue? No one is going to win, per se. I would rather find the common ground and live out the Truth that I know is found in Him alone. The reality is that I found Him, as he saved me from me. I find that is harder to disprove Him than to prove [in my life]. In either case, the 2 year old in all of us can, if allowed, continue to ask why. No matter how many answers we give we always end with the profound understanding that we don’t know everything and the little we do know is not complete, so why fight about the Lord, Truth, and all the other stuff?

My reality is that I love the Lord… Old Testament, New Testament, and everything in between. I love having a relationship with Him and learning more about Him and in that I learn even more about myself. The understanding I have gain has not been because someone told me it is what I have learned, read, searched, challenged, tested, and experienced. I, along with many in this world, long for Utopia but am mature enough to understand that it will NEVER exist on this earth or in my life time. There will always be pain, war, heartache, greed, lust, selfishness, pride, and the list goes on. There will never be an absence of those elements. Just as there will never be an absence of fire, earth, wind, and water. They exist in all things. It is the degree that they are displayed that differs. The constant question after that generally, proposed to me, is “then where is your god? Why doesn’t he fix that? If he is so loving as you claim then why does it exist anyway?” My answers rarely suffice as the mind and heart are usually already set. However, I call you to question these things: 1. Do you want every part of you controlled like a puppet? If not, then, in your proclamation of “fairness”, why should someone else be a puppet? 2. Without pain would you understand the depths of relief? Without darkness, would you know that you are standing in the light? 3. Is there such thing as cause and effect?

In all these things I am not telling you what to believe or how but just as one may want to make me ask questions, I offer the same experience. In all of our intellect I find that we can still be just as ignorant, or lack sense. In all of our “fairness” we can equally lack true equity. With accepting everything as truth we can find ourselves in ambiguity and empty of truth. Without boundary we can find ourselves listless and in constant wander. Thought the old adage is true in part “all who wander are not lost” but it is also true that all who are lost are in endless wander. Why not believe that there is One point, One truth, One constant, One absolute, One eternal, one who IS … all encompassing and self-existing… Balance. In today’s culture we strive for that in ourselves… why not outside ourselves? Yes there have been many mis-handled and misleading people proclaiming in the name of God but very few actually embracing the pure intent as we are rarely pure.

This all began with me thinking about my favorites in life and though I thought I didn’t really have “favorites” but more preferences, I discovered I do have one absolute favorite over all things…. The LORD in fullness…the Trinity. In that everything else lacks the luster and freedom. I do have many things that I enjoy and just want to keep discovering, as this is a wide world with many layers and I am a constant adventuring student. In this life though, as I venture out and suck the marrow out of life, I long to give back in abundance and overflow. I know that without the fullness of the Lord in relationship with me I am completely unable to. I know me and my limits, weaknesses, and pride (that shows in stubbornness and protective walls). It is in relationship with him that I am able to give beyond myself, love boldly and organically, live with the eyes and heart of a discovering child even as I age. Isn’t that worth something? To me it is worth everything. It is worth sharing as we were designed and created to live, love, and be in relationship eternal… first with the one who created us and then with others. That is the beauty of such an adventure in a world full of ugliness. My list of favorites… it begins and ends with Him… the Designer, Creator, Savior and LOVER of my soul. What’s yours?

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